My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

by Dr. Chuck Baynard

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

Coping with the death of someone close:

I am sure many will identify with the “bad” parts of this illustration. It is my hope and prayer you will also be able to identify with the positive experiences and move forward toward healing in your life.

Joe waves goodbye from the driveway as his wife Shirley, the three girls, along with his in-laws pull out of the drive to meet with several other families at the Church. Joe has some work that he has to finish, planning to join the family later at a church campground several hours away.

Two hours later Joe listens in shock as a state police officer tells him that Shirley, his in-laws and oldest child are dead. His youngest child is in the hospital in critical but stable condition. His middle daughter had chosen to ride with friends and was not in the same car when the accident happened. Change the names and the event and this story could be the story of hundreds of Christians who face such tragic scenes every day.

After receiving such news the next few hours and days will always be a blur. So many things going on, so many decisions, you seem to move in slow motion, a mist seems to hang over everything. Many strong believers in searching for a way to help and comfort those left behind in such circumstances, especially the children suddenly find they too are like a child, they have no answers to share. For the first time in their life they face deep depression.

How do you help someone who has just went through something like this?

What verses of the Bible can you use to bring help and comfort?

How can a person help themselves when they are in such a situation?

Don’t take your own advice that they don’t want to see anyone and you don’t know what to say anyway and just stay away and not even call them.

Don’t soft step around them as if they are children and unable to handle the truth.

Don’t talk around or over them as if they are not there.

Don’t let them have their way and spend long periods of time alone.

Do exactly for them what you know would be a help to you.

Do be sensitive to their needs, but not over bearing in forcing help upon them.

Do make yourself available to them.

Self Help:

Don’t retreat, be a part of the world that was yours before this event.

Don’t be afraid to tell friends who offer exactly what to do, even if that is nothing but to sit down and be there, but don’t talk.

Do keep memories alive, they are a part of you that will die with the memory if you allow it.

Do get out and go back to work or whatever your “normal” routine was before this event.

Do trust God He is with you in the hurt and grief.

Do read the Bible and pray every day.

Do attend church and other meetings faithfully.

Dr. Baynard is an Associate Editor of the Christian Observer and Senior Pastor at Clover Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Clover, South Carolina

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