Progressive Religion at Oyster U: A Poetic Narrative “Shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?” Romans 3:3 Geneva Bible

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Progressive Religion at Oyster U:

A Poetic Narrative

“Shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?”

Romans 3:3 Geneva Bible

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Progressive Religion at Oyster U

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by David Clark Brand

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Would you dare to go to college

like a monkey to the zoo

at the place I left behind me

where you’ll likely face “Who’s Who”?

They’ll no doubt treat you kindly

at the place called Oyster U.

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But they’ll tell you that the monkey

was not quite what you might think

but began as an amoeba

like the stuff in Grandma’s sink.

And in time there came the point

when it began to stink,

in due time politicizing,

taking on flamingo pink.

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Spreading pink like a flamingo,

that poor monkey in the zoo,

swung up high in every branch

while it conquered Oyster U.

So you needn’t be surprised

at the pink in Oyster stew.

Just remember Grandma

while attending Oyster U.

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How it happened dare I tell you?

You just read your history book,

how Mr. Darwin’s theory

made its way through every nook.

Since ol’ Prexy turned the table

General Assembly to disable–

from that point, in college labs,

there’d be no creation “fable.”

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Since William Jennings ate the crow

Oyster staff would take it slow.

Oyster’s friends would hardly know

a Progressive lost the show.

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Soon besides the bio lab

in many courses you would find it.

So conditioned you’d become

that you’d prob’ly never mind it.

In geology it worked,

setting forth its new religion.

Very subtly it lurked–

though it seemed like such a smidgeon.

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Biblical religion

it can hardly replace;

for the “faith of God”

just stares it in the face.

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While skeptics mock and ride the fence,

of Creation’s secrets they’ll not make sense.

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The key to survive at Oyster U

is to stand with Christ in full review.

In Him are hid all the treasures.

No need to yield to ungodly pleasures.

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When the Bible, not Darwin, serves as your grid;

you critique the “ologies” though only a kid.

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So you want to go to college

like a monkey to the zoo?

Do not fear to glean some knowledge.

Just steer clear of Oyster stew.

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About the Writer

David Clark Brand is a retired pastor and educator with missionary experience in Korea and Arizona.  He and his wife reside in Wooster, Ohio.  They have four grown children and seven  grandchildren.  With a B.A. in the Liberal Arts, an M. Div., and a Th.M. in Church History, Dave continues to enjoy study and writing.  One of his books, a contextual study of the life and thought of Jonathan Edwards, was published by the American Academy of Religion via Scholars Press in Atlanta.

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