The Foundation of the Christian Family

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By the Rev. Dr. Joe Renfro

Psalm 127; 1 says that “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.”   This psalm has been called “God’s family portrait.”  The text suggests that the Lord is the architect, the designer, the creator, and founder of the home. The writer of Hebrews confirmed this when he wrote “For every house is built by some man, but he that builds all things is God,” and this suggest the divine partnership in the development of Christian families.

The only people who really know how to express love are those who have seen love expressed, and the family love centered in Jesus Christ is central in for forming the right foundation for the Christian family. It has been said that “The home must be divinely founded, must be divinely defended, divinely furnished, and divinely favored.” To this, the word of God very much agrees.

It is fact that civilizations vary throughout our world, and there are different understandings of what is a family, yet it is beyond question that the New Testament picture of the family is the basic pattern that needs to be realized, the true foundation for the family with the highest idea is seen in the Christian family. Where this prevails womanhood and motherhood are amplified to the highest degree. The husband and wife are one in honor, influence, affection, and the children are to be reared in a common bond of care, love, and responsibility.

Motherhood is a unique calling from God and one that should never be degraded or neglected. In our land we have established one day to especially honor this high calling. Mothers’ Day it that day. It was first held in Boston in 1872 at the suggestion of Julia Ward Howe, writer of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”

But it was Anna Jarvis, daughter of a Methodist minister in Grafton, West Virginia, who made it a national event. During the Civil War, Anna Jarvis’ mother organized Mothers’ Day Work Clubs to care for wounded soldiers, both Union and Confederate.  She raised money for medicine, inspected bottled milk, improved sanitation and hired women to care for families where mothers suffered from tuberculosis.

In her mother’s honor, Anna Jarvis persuaded her church to set aside the 2nd Sunday in May, the anniversary of her mother’s death, as a day to appreciate all mothers. .Encouraged by the reception, Anna Jarvis organized it in Philadelphia, then began a letter-writing campaign to ministers, businessmen and politicians to establish a national Mothers’ Day.

In response, on May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the first National Mothers’ Day as a “public expression of…love and reverence for the mothers of our country.”

President Reagan said in his Mother’s Day Proclamation, 1986:  “A Jewish saying sums it up: ‘God could not be everywhere – so he created mothers.'”

Mothers have the role of imparting values into children, as American poet William Ross Wallace wrote: “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

Dr. James Dobson addressed the National Religious Broadcasters, Feb. 16, 2002: “If they can get control of children … they can change the whole culture in one generation.”

This importance of this was echoed by historians Will and Ariel Durant in The Lessons of History, 1968: “Civilization is not inherited; it has to be learned and earned by each generation anew; if the transmission should be interrupted… civilization would die, and we should be savages again.”

The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, as recorded in 2 Timothy 1:5 that: “I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

On February 3, 1983, at the annual National Prayer Breakfast, President Ronald Reagan stated: “I have a very special old Bible. And alongside a verse in the Second Book of Chronicles there are some words, handwritten, very faded by now. And believe me, the person who wrote these words was an authority. Her name was Nelle Wilson Reagan. She was my mother.”

Ronald Reagan stated: “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.

However, we have been witnessing a watershed moment in American cultural history: the sabotaging of family and marriage. The extreme-left radicals have made their arguments and tried different tactics, from the early nineteenth century to the sexual revolution of the 1960s, and on to even gay marriage. Now, as the legal definition of marriage rapidly changes, the floodgates are open, and the fundamental transformation of the American family will take on new speed and new dimensions toward disintegration and perversion. Efforts to redefine the family structure have been long at work, and there have been some influential forces on the far left and communist left that cannot that should not be ignored in that process.

Paul Kengor  in a book entitled “TAKEDOWN” exposes these origins, starting with Karl Marx, and traces them through the sordid history of people like Margaret Sanger, Wilhelm Reich, Herbert Marcuse and assorted ’60s radicals. What were once fringe concepts have become accepted by mainstream thought and are today welcomed by many legislators and judges in our nation.

Kengor notes how in the not-so-distant past, today’s leftists who are attacking traditional marriage would have loudly raised their voices but not caused any real damage. They would have been dismissed with no serious concern as left-wing cranks, crackpot German and Austrian atheistic philosophers and campus agitators. But now, with formal legalization of same-sex marriage afoot, sex changes, etc. they are getting what they’ve wanted for generations: the literal redefinition of the family.

This book, ‘TAKEDOWN” exposes how gay marriage is serving as a Trojan horse for the far left to secure the final takedown of marriage that it has long wanted, and countless everyday Americans are oblivious to the deeper forces at work. Karl Marx and his more anti-marriage comrade Engels would be dumbfounded at the mere thought that modern Americans would gladly join them in their rejection of God’s design for natural marriage and the family.

God calls us to stand up, speak up, and take action against this progressive thinking that has in recent years moved our nation toward the breakdown in our families, in our schools, and in society in general.  However, we who know Jesus Christ, as our Lord and Savior need to practice what God’s design really is and to proclaim and influence our land to turn from the what we have  seen developing to turn from destruction to the deliverance God can provide. II Chronicles 7:14, likely the one designated by President Reagan’s mother, says: “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

God ordained the family.  He calls the family to unity, and he sets before us the sanctity of the family. Love is central to God’s design in the family, as Titus 2:3-8 declares that “The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine showing no corruptness, and displaying gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.”

The human family, it can be declared is the oldest Institution on earth. To trace its roots we must go back to the dawn of creation and the creation of mankind, which the name, “mankind”, “Adam” means.  Humanity did not develop by chance or even the unintelligible survival of the fittest, but by God’s design.  God chose to develop all and especially his special creation, humanity. God’s ultimate act in the creation story from Genesis account shows how he effected the social unit known as the family.

Simply speaking, a family consists of two or more person, who share a common union, realized in the blending of goals and mutual care. It begins with the coming together, ideally through holy marriage of the male and female.  Two females and/or two males can chose to live together or for that matter any number of males and females as is evident in various forms of polygamy or polyandry, but this is not what the Bible designates as true marriage. There can be families of all types, nuclear families, blended families, extended families, even church families, but marriage in the Christian teaching for the nuclear and blended families is from the union of one man with one woman, not multiple sexes or multiple people.

ORIGIN OF THE FAMILY is painted in the scripture from Genesis 2: 18-24, as it says. “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be one; I will make him a help meet for him.’” God’s creation of man is described in Genesis 2:7: “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”  Notice that it says, “God breathed into his nostril the breath of life,” which many of us see as manifestation of the spiritual dimension in humanity, something more than in the rest of creation, the rational image of God in humanity.”  The creation of man came after God had created all other creatures;the fish, fowl, and beasts, God recognized that these were not adequate companions for man. Unlike all the other creatures, “Adam”-as the first man or as humanity was called– was created in the image of God. He consisted of an eternal soul allowing a eternal fellowship with God, a God-consciousness not shared by the other creatures. This difference set man apart from all other creatures and made total fellowship between man and beast impossible, for we are on a different level and plane than animals.                                                                                        

It was the plan of God to create a partner for Adam who was meet for him (which means “sufficient” for him), for he would need someone with whom he could commune and share all elements of his life. God created Eve, the name which means “life or living” in the Hebrew language, so Eve as the mother of human life. Adam and Eve, sexually male and female have united since the very beginning of humanity.  It was not a union designed to be “Adam” and “Steve,” nor “Jezebelle and “Suseque,”but it was the union of male and female, man and wife. Men cannot give birth of children, as only women can do this. Motherhood is unique to women!

I was reading an article from back in May 9, 2016 by Michael Brown in the Townhall magazine where he wrote that: “In honor of Mother’s Day, President Obama issued a proclamation celebrating “those who are the first to welcome us into the world.” He continued, “Performing the most important work there is, mothers — biological, foster, or adoptive — are our first role models and earliest motivators.  They balance enormous responsibilities and shape who we become as adults, their lessons guiding us throughout life.  Regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or marital status, mothers have always moved our Nation forward and remained steadfast in their pursuit of a better and brighter future for their children.”

Brown observed that “This echoed our past President’s 2015 proclamation, in which he said; “Whether married or single, LGBT or straight, biological, adoptive, or foster, mothers are the bedrocks of our lives and the foundation of our society.” To be sure, the president had some beautiful things to say about mothers,” Brown went on to say, “I applaud those expressions of appreciation and celebration. And, without a doubt, there are single moms, adoptive moms, and foster moms, lesbian moms who are deeply devoted to their kids and are doing their utmost to be the best parents they can be.  Many of their kids must surely have expressed their appreciation to them on Mother’s Day.”

Then the writer declared, “That being said, when a woman chooses to have a baby out of wedlock – I emphasize the word “chooses” – and to raise that child without a husband/father in the household, is that the best choice that can be made? Is that the best role model she can be? Doesn’t her very choice deprive that little one of the nurture that only a dad can bring? Doesn’t her choice deprive that child of growing up with the example of mother-father love and interaction?

The debate can go on, but Brown in his article went on to conclude that “I don’t doubt that there are men who now identify as women who are functioning as moms and are deeply devoted to the children they are raising, but the truth is that they can never be biological women, and many would argue that there is a greater likelihood that their own kids will experience some type of gender confusion as well.”

I see very much what Brown is addressing, for in our day transgender activists have simultaneously detached gender completely from sex and suggested that men can magically become “‘real women”’ by merely “‘identifying” as female, and vise-versa. This is untrue, of course. A new study composed by Weizmann Institute of Science researchers just widened the hole in the transgender narrative pushed by progressives: it has been found that the two sexes express over 6,500 genes differently, adding to the already major biological differences between men and women.  Trying the transgender motherhood can never even make it the real thing.

In Genesis 2:21 it says that:  “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh Instead thereof. While we cannot know for certain, why did God cause Adam to sleep when He removed the rib?” Men determine the sex of a baby depending on whether their sperm is carrying an X or Y chromosome.   In the story we see that it is pictured that God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep in order to perform a very special act of creation. He took a rib from Adam’s side to make his complement in the human species. It has been frequently and appropriately said that Adam’s companion was taken from his side to signify togetherness.  She was not taken from his head that she might usurp authority over him; she was not taken from his foot that he could trample upon her; she was not taken from his arm or hand that she might be his slave; but she was taken from his side so she might stand beside him in the great issues of life.

In Genesis 2:22 it says: “And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, he made a woman, and brought her unto the man.”  Because the material from which the companion was made came from the man, she was given the name of woman. Male and female are the same flesh. My science professor in college brought out the interesting parallel to the creation story and the order of creation as taught in science. God did not create humanity to be asexual, but he made us to be sexual and calls us to follow the sexual guideline he has given to us in the scripture, much of it for the preservation of the family and motherhood.

There is the sanctity of the family and motherhood together with fatherhood are designed, set up very much in the picture of God’s design.  Mark 10:6-9 the Bible gives direction as verse 6 states that “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.”

The sanctity of the family has always been a special target of the devil. A nation of strong families and strong homes is a powerful nation; the disintegration of the family unit is a sure sign of moral and spiritual breakdown within a nation. That is why the loss of family sanctity is a frightening sign anywhere. We see evidences of it on every side in this modern time.

In the days of the Lord Jesus, there was a callous attitude toward the family. Divorce was considered such a frivolous thing that Jewish men put away their wives for almost any reason, or none at all. The event leading up to these verses was a discussion between Jesus and the Pharisees regarding the sanctity of marriage. There are certain reasons, said the Lord Jesus, that make divorce acceptable, but divorce was never in the plan or for the pleasure of God.  His perfect plan is for families to continue with strength, love, integrity, loyalty, and honor till death do the husbands and wives depart.. Divorce is not a sin, and there are scriptural statements of justification for it, but it should not be taken lightly at all.

In verse 6, we can see that the Lord Jesus looked back to the original creation and reminded his hearers that the purpose of male and female is the establishment of families. The ideal relationship is male and female, more specifically, husband and wife, to that by such a union the human race is preserved for the glory and honor of God.

In verse 7 there is the message that “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.”  God’s directive in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh, is repeated, as the normal pattern of the social process is for a man to leave his father and mother and be joined to a wife.  A man or woman should not thereafter remain inordinately attached to even their parents, but should devote their affection and watchful care to his or her mate. Certainly this does not prohibit a normal continuing care for his parents: it means that the husband or wife shall have first place in the affections and attachments.

Parents who try to maintain first place in their children’s lives even after the children are married do harm to the plan of God. The divinely decreed plan of God is for parent and child to decrease in attachment while the child forms a new and stronger attachment to a mate.

In Mark 10:8 it says: “And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.”  In no other human relationship is it said that two persons become one flesh. It is so stated of husband and wife because of the particular procreative aspects of that union. The physical union of man and woman is reserved for husband and wife, in whom physical love is sacred and good; but in those who are not husband and wife it is defiled and improper. One of the most beautiful circumstances of human life is the merging of two lives into one; when two persons share one love, one cause, one life, and the joint offspring of one marriage—a combination of the development of fatherhood and motherhood.

In verse 9 it says that: “What therefore God hath Joined together, let not man put asunder.”  Motherhood and fatherhood are not just in procreation, but it points to a life-long connection, and particularly in the Christian understanding to see the sanctity of marriage is the work of God.

Motherhood is a very high calling, and God calls us both male and females to realize the awesome responsibly of bringing children into the world and rearing them particularly from and in the foundation of the Christian family.

The foundation of motherhood is basic to the Christian family, and this relates not to just those of us in the Christian faith, but the Christian teachings are vital to preservation of our land the future of the children the children’s children of this land.   Much of this relates to the powerful influence of mothers.  It is the influence mothers have on our culture when they create a foundation of liberty in our homes, sharing and living the principles of liberty and virtue with our children.  And when the day comes when all hope seems lost and people cry out “where is liberty? Who can show us how to do this?”  Let us pray that our children will rise up, carrying the banner of freedom and high values, saying: “We know it because our mothers taught us.” 

This Mother’s Day let’s remember just how powerful the words “Just a mom” are.  And when you’re cleaning up the kitchen after your “breakfast in bed”, planting this year’s mother’s day flower or reading that handmade card your children colored, remember, mothers, you are not just raising children, you’re changing the world!  AMEN

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