The School of Motherhood

.

.

By Dr. Joe Renfro, Ed. D.

We are bombarded with all types of references in respect to how to improve education, but one area we hear very little about is the school of motherhood, something we need to see as probably the most vital of all  the types of schooling.

A teacher gave a problem to her class.  She said: “There are seven maple trees and on the seven maple trees are seven branches.  On the each of the seven branches are seven acorns.  So how many acorns are there?”  One student raised his hand and responded, “None, for maples don’t have acorns.”  This student was thinking, and it is a prime call to instill in children the ability to think in disciplined ways.

One of the reasons our nation is in such a plight with discipline problems in the public schools is that the school of the right kind of motherhood is falling down.  Proverbs 22:15 states: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”  Mothers are basic in the discipline of children, central in instilling discipline in the children.  Through this basic nurture from the earliest years in a child’s life appropriate or inappropriate discipline is developed.

We spend billions upon billions on education in the public schools in the USA, but we neglect to focus on the school of motherhood in our society. Here is the basic source of a basic education for all children!  The mother school provides children with the basic education in life, and godly mothers especially sense this calling.  Recall that scripture that says: “Bring up a child in the way that he should walk, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  The school of motherhood of basic here.

From the study of developmental psychology we learn that a child’s basic education is set by the time he is five years old.   Mothers are the basic teachers here.  It is like a house being build, and framework is being set.  Without appropriate foundations sturdy houses can’t be built.  So the framework of rearing children is basic in the development of any child, and this is basically the product of mothers.  A house can be no more stable than its framework!

A mother of three notorious kids was asked, “If you had it to do over again, would you have children?”  “Sure,” she said, “but not the same ones.” It is not what you get, but how you work with what you have.  Children do have different genetic make-ups, and this is a factor, but the nature of any child can be modified by the appropriate nurture, and mothers in particular have this great task before. 

The family is a basic institution of a society.  When I was a lad, we learned that some of the basic accepted institutions in our society were the government, the school, the church, and the family.  Much of this seems caught up in the wind in our day.  It is sad to see elements in our society constantly attack the influences of the family, especially the more conservative thinking Christian families.   We need to see a turning back to the Christian foundation which cultivated discipline as a vital part of education.                                                                   

Values and attitudes are basic.  Mothers have the responsibility and opportunity to cultivate in their children a spiritual commitment, which is most valuable. If mothers are faithful in their task, children tend to develop a continual conscious communion with God, a respect toward others, and a consciousness of responsibility.  This is basic to life.  However, we are finding our land in such a mess, especially evidenced in the public schools of America, I feel this is because this segment of the religious training has been neglected.  The development of spiritual comment should be basic to motherhood, and it becomes a hood of blessing covering the development of the child.

I’m sure you have heard many mothers and fathers say: “If my children want religion, that’s alright, but I’ll leave it to them.”   But would you throw your children into a lake without having any training in swimming and say to let them sink or swim?  Responsible parents seek to develop responsibility in children, and spiritual development is vital!

One of the important doctrines of the Christian church that the doctrine of the covenant, that God’s promises are to his children and his children’s children.”  Paul could write to Timothy: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you also.” This scripture points to the great truth that spiritual development in children is greatly influenced by mothers.  Abraham Lincoln said, “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”   The mother schools are so important!

Just as a child learns to talk to and commune with his or her parents, so a child can learn to talk with and commune God.  Mothers can train their children to become responsible people or by the neglect of this make them real problems.  Mothers are basic to the development of responsible children, since basic nurturer. This does not excuse a balanced input from the fatherhood side as well, however.  But back when I taught in the public school, I recall that when the report cards are given out, I very seldom have ever heard, “Oh, My dad’s going to be upset.”  It was almost always: “Oh, Mom’s going to get me.” 

Without question the first school of responsibility is on the mother’s knee. Many will say they learned many valuable lessons across their mother’s knees! Proverbs 22:6 says to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  A basic call from God is to teach your children responsibility, but responsibility is not so much taught as it is caught!  What a great lesson it is, when we learn to see that responsibility becomes not a task but an opportunity.  Here we can realize even life’s problems as but opportunities to which we can respond to God’s ability.  Responsible mothers are basic to the teaching of responsibility. 

Mothers can help children discover their own personal integrity in Christ. God works through the hands and hearts of faithful mothers!  Mother’s give birth in the physical domain, but God gives it in the spiritual in the rebirth.  A mother told her son that it was God who made people good.  He thought about it a moment and responded, “Yes, I know it is God, but mothers help a lot.”  True integrity is to learn to live in Christ.  The Apostle Paul pointed to this when he said, “for me to live is Christ.”  We don’t know anything about Paul’s mother, but we do know he valued his heritage, and a heritage comes both from a father and a mother, genetic factors, social factor-particularly that of religious education and development.

Many children are taught to value popularity, prestige, material acquisitions, and various exploits–even violence. Instead of practicing appropriate spiritual discipline they may practice blind loyalty to some particularly negative group.  I’m sure you have heard of the blind leading the blind!  Some mothers want their children to be popular, regardless what it might cost.  What matters to these mothers is not what the child actually is, but what he or she appears to be to others.   Some parents spend great amounts of money trying to buy friendship for their children.  Society seems to like to have popularity contests, where they praise some and degrade others.  Some parents by discoursing with other parents try to campaign against some children, while they seem to promote their child’s social position, to brag on them to make them the most popular of all.  In this process mothers often create children who become slaves to social manipulation.

Some mothers breed greed into their children.  What ultimately matters to many young people is the acquisition of material things. Get what you can for yourself, often with the attitude of getting it, regardless how or whom it might injure.  They teach their children to get all you can by hook or crook.  Success is defined as what you appear to have to others.  One of the sad facts of our time is that in many marriages many young couples want everything right now.  They want a new house, a new car, new furnishings, the finest clothes, and the best recreation the first thing.  The loan companies and banks are willing to eagerly help–even to encourage them in every way.  However, they find they aren’t satisfied with the focus on things, and very often these marriages go on the rocks; especially when either one or both of them loses their jobs. Many forget that it is only in the dictionary that “success” comes before “work.”  The school of motherhood can teach discernment, and this is vital!

A great problem in our time is that many children are being caught up into gangs, crime, violence, drugs, and move into groups that act disrespectfully to others.  Negative behavior, sad to say is projected by much of our media and society as a whole, as often it is just being funny to hurt others, and children under this wrong influence can be led to seek acclaim by negative behavior.  To steal, vandalize, prostitute oneself, intimidate others, deface property with vulgarity, or act irreverently or disrespectful takes no real ability or hard work.  Yet, it gives many young people a real ego trip.   It is negative behavior, which is often picked up by some people, because mothers have neglected the teaching of the positive values from the earliest of years.  Public schools are not the reason for the breakdown in our society, but sad to say is the parents, and mothers are at least half of this, and some would say, much more.   We need to focus on the school of motherhood!

It is sad that very often instead of seeking spiritual wholeness through true commitment to God many children seek it from the acclaim of their peers. Instead of striving for the power of true competence they miss the lesson of learning confidence in God.  They never realize the truth, as the Scripture says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Instead of learning to rely on God, many end up pursuing the power of manipulating or trying to control other people.  It is the same old song, all night long.  But when you realize the wholeness that is ours in God in Christ, there is no need, nor desire to manipulate others!  You don’t have to be caught up in the same old song, all night long of manipulating or being manipulated by others.

The mother school should teach not manipulation, but dedication to God.  The Bible says, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.”  Manipulation is from an outside influence, trying to twist people into conformity of doing what you wish them to do.  But in dedication is where there is commitment to a higher cause, and in the right sense it should be the commitment to God.

The mother school is the most important school in our world today.  The mother schools determine the effectiveness of our public schools. A teacher at a public school asked little James in arithmetic class, “James, suppose your mother made a peach pie, and there were ten of you at the table–your mother and father and eight children–how much of the pie would you get?”  “A ninth,” James responded.  “No, no, James, pay attention,” said the teacher!  There are ten of you; remember, ten!  Don’t you know your fractions?  “Yes mam, but I know my mother, and she would not want any pie, she would want it divided nine ways.”  This boy was learning from his family and thought beyond what the teacher saw.

Mothers teach so many things, don’t they?  A woman was calling on a friend, whose children were brought in.  The visitor responded, “Oh, I’d give anything in my life to have children like yours.”  And the mother replied, “That is exactly what it costs.”  The school of motherhood is very costly to mothers.  However, it the greatest of investments.  True motherhood!  Think of the great value it is to each child!

.